Sexuality and Enlightenment

[ShadowFox]

I make this thread because I feel that this topic -the connection between spirituality and sexuality, it very important. Our ignorance and fear of our own sexuality is one of the most important things and one of the biggest obstacles to overcome. At the same time sexuality has always played a big role in religion.

Religion all over the world has done its best to stop and repress our natural tendency towards sex. Religion tells us this thing, religion tells us that thing, but its hard taking advice from an old man who's never had a sensual, passionate night with a gorgeous woman, and letting him tell us to deny our own sex drives.


So the fundamental question that we must really ask is:

How is sexuality related to spirituality? Can one be very sexual and at the same time enlightened?

Many yogis, swamis, and of course the saints abstain from sex. But what is the logic and rationale behind all of this? I just can't think that the sexual essence of my being is something to be denied, and is something I must give up completely in my quest for a cosmic consciousness. I feel it is something that we must embrace and accept of ourselves.

But i feel that somewhere on this level there is denial and suppression. Suppression often leads to a place of darkness where its bottling up often explodes into depravation. Mankind is very much afraid of his own sexuality because of the fact that it reminds him just how animal he still is, that no matter how "polite" or "civilized" he has become, he still has the drives and instincts of an animal.

There is also Tantra, which I've heard of but never experienced and am not much familiar about. I have seen many diagrams on kundalini but am ignorant on Tantric systems of spirituality.

I myself find it hard to believe that Jesus himself had never been with a woman. To me Jesus was another human, not some demi-god or the incarnation of God himself. I find it hard to see the human in him if he had no taste and love for feminine beauty and energy.

Let us all discuss this together, and hopefully we can make something of it for all of us.

[Celtaur]

I think EyeCanBlackStars will have a lot to say on this topic of sexual essence related to sexuality from what I've seen of other posts.

Some traditions, such as tantra, use sexual energy as a union with the Divine as you've mentioned.

One of my friends said that sexual energy is life energy, why would we want to suppress the expression and experience of life?

I don't think man is afraid of sexuality because it brings him to a realization of his nature. I think that ideologies and taboo's have been systematically built up over the years and have infiltrated the psychology of society as a whole, for the purpose of suppressing mans nature. Man feels guilty about his own nature. Man has been conditioned to believe the idea that he is separate from everything else, from nature, better than all else, and should have "dominion over the whole earth" as if we should be conquerors over nature. Look at the mess that gets us into, wreaking complete havoc on nature through our pride and disregard for our authentic connection to it. This is a sad perspective that has caused a lot of psychological disturbance in humanity resulting in a divide of embracing our whole selves, our whole experience and uniting with this beautiful world. I love nature, nature is beautiful, magical, powerful. I feel most spiritual when I am in nature, feeling connected to nature.

The disconnect I think has been an imposed one, a one of psychological misguidance or ignorance. We are taught to believe we are separate from everything instead of united with everything. Sex is another one of those things we are conditioned to dislike about ourselves, and is lumped into the category of a long list of sins. From an early age we are taught to fear and to be separate instead of to enjoy, to love and to unite. There's something wrong with this image we have created for ourselves about who we are. We have been taught that we are just here, on this planet for a short while to be tested at every turn. What a different world it would be if we were taught to love nature, to love our nature and to embrace the experience of life with joy and freedom instead of torturing ourselves and fearing who we naturally are.

I think sex should be experienced responsibly. Responsibly meaning you enjoy giving and receiving pleasure through the act of authentic love, this is the higher octave of working with the sexual energy I believe, than following purely lust instincts. Tantra I believe is even higher as it connects love with an even higher intention of union with the divine. Of course this is not always the case, lust can cause people to want sex in the heat of the moment, but that's nature, that natural, it's part of living. One should not feel guilty for feeling lust... why feel guilty about nature. However, if one gets caught up in sexual debauchery, it can lead to a emptiness, using others bodies for one's own temporary ego gratitude, etc., can lead down a slipper slope of misusing one's energy for potentially harmful results to others and the self. A lot of social complications can happen when people have no level of self control - from causing jealousy to hurt to sadness and rage. I think this is why possibly the early ideologies of the church were focused on marriage, because love would be more likely, more stability in family, and growing a family in the purpose of creating a stronger church following. The church has a systematic way of doing things, an organized way for it's own intents and purposes, but marriage is a wonderful thing of it's own accord as well and can keep a lot of relationship problems from happening.

Sex can make life complicated, or it can make life beautiful. It's about choices. It's about directing the will. It's a magical force that we can make music with, or can cause a devastating experience. It's one of those parts of life that reflects to us our power of choosing our reality and creating it.

[Haruth]

I agree with a lot of what Celtaur has written.

I suppose the question that arises is what you mean by being very sexual? If promiscuous, then I think the spiritual clarity which can be achieved through exploring one's sexuality in a loving, nurturing relationship becomes rather dilute, if not lost entirely in the hedonism inherent in such a lifestyle.

I certainly believe that sexuality and spirituality are able bed fellows. My first realisation that this might be the case occurred quite unexpectedly: at the point of orgasm I found myself held in the 'hand of God'. (What that means, exactly, I find impossible to adequately express. And quite, frankly, I'm surprised to be sharing it - even here... ) The experience not only shook up my preconceived notions about sex and sexuality, but it completely erased any (limited ) sense of guilt I held regarding these early, solitary explorations...

It has always been a bit of a mystery to me why there are so many aspects of the human condition which are held in such low esteem by organised religion. If God made Man in his image, surely every aspect of human expression then becomes a divine act?

I suppose in defining any action as spiritual, it must be made clear that the reason behind the action imparts upon it a degree of spiritual responsibility. The same action in hate may be rightly regarded as somehow less spiritually responsible, less empowering, as that action wrought in love. (The recent reports on 'corrective rape' of Lesbians in South Africa hopefully makes that point in terms of the sexual act).

Irrespective of your sex, or your sexuality, embracing the divine experience that can be achieved in a loving, nurturing relationship(s), in which the deepest core of the sexual being that we are can be explored in safety and trust, can only serve to lift awareness to a higher place.

[EyeCanBlackStars]

I agree ShadowFox, Celtaur and Haruth. Celtaur is right, I do have an opinion on this, I probably write about it too much, but I can't help myself, because I think it's important.

ShadowFox, I think a lot of people say Christ had a wife, and there are numerous parts in the bible that seem to talk about sexuality for spiritual purposes. I think everyone agrees, sex is an important spiritual experience in life. Sex is how each one of us came into the world. There are lots of different spiritual sexual practices, some I find ideal and others seem obviously to be perversions and ignorant to too many things.

Irrespective of your sex, or your sexuality, embracing the divine experience that can be achieved in a loving, nurturing relationship(s), in which the deepest core of the sexual being that we are can be explored in safety and trust, can only serve to lift awareness to a higher place.

I believe this is very valuable forming of thoughts into words, I'll probably use this in my birds and bees talk when it comes time, if you don't mind

I agree with Celtaur, that fearing anything will not lead you to understanding. Understanding in my eyes is what enlightenment is partially about. However, I believe a man without the blessing of divine clairvoyance, will not understand anything on the level that it could be understood. Understanding is not about having an opinion.

I believe it's good to look at many different viewpoints and sometimes extreme viewpoints are good, because they help you understand the situation better, as long as you keep in your mind that understanding is not about opinion.

That being said here is my opinion. Sexuality is heavily emphasized in natural unrestricted religions and models for human conscience. Conscience is something that like technology, is "developed" at a rate that humanity is capable of. Just like science, most people have little understanding of the science they use to enhance or degrade their lives. Science seems almost esoteric to people that have not had the exact literature background or experiences in their life. Most "scientist" have very little understanding of real "science" and are more dogmatic than religion in many aspects. The majority of society are simply following ritual and patterns, without going through the creative process or truly having comprehension. This parallels how religion is formed, it "helps" and "empowers" people even if they do not understand why. Love making is something everyone does different no one really does it "better" they just do it for different purposes, most of them for purposes they don't have any comprehension of. Some acts of love are truly divine in nature, and others seem ignorant to anything higher and some acts are just ritual.

Not everyone is equal, as Jesus said "Truly, truly I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born anew.' The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit."

I think there are certain degrees of perfection to everything. And perfection is always relative to what and where something is, until it transcends what and where, but that is just the first step of perfection. There is usually always something that is more ideal, something with more degrees of freedom. Sex that liberates the Spirit from what and where is something I might regard as the direction to enlightenment?

There are different types of conscience, conscience that is hardened and has rules in place to prevent disastrous consequences and to build understanding from, and there is the malleable understanding that by comprehension of consequences can rely less on the rules and good and evil. Both are important for the sake of the Spirit, in my opinion.

Humans have experience anchored to our bodily experience. Experience is different for everyone, as everyone has different purpose. I think the first step to progressing further to anything "better", is first admitting that our state of being is not what we want it to be. And that we may have been going a different direction before but not now. This is the opposite of conservatism. Don't have sexuality for sexuality. A self serving purpose is a lack of purpose.

The body is a tool, all bodies are, even "our" body of consciousness that transcends death is.

Most tantric practice is polluted. Don't follow anything blindly, look for true intuition behind teachings, if it is lesser than or doesn't jive with yours, then it is not meant for you. To be honest most couples in the true pure state of mind go through the love making process intuitively more divinely and perfectly, than any "teaching" could teach or give a student understanding of. But at the same time, it makes sense that to understand the world and ourselves better the act of sex, birthing, and death are probably the most important things, as this is how we mechanically enter and exit the physical body.

There are lots of different things going on all the time, and same thing with sex. My advice on sex, as it is an act of the physical and other things. To understand how the physical body interfaces with other things to the best of your understanding, so you know everything that you are doing and consequences. One thing that I think happens during the act of sex is a more perfect state of consciousness can be obtained with less distortions, this is if you go about the sex trying to obtain a more perfect state of consciousness, rather than merely trying to find excitement.

Features of the body pertaining to sexuality might give us some more insight. I believe acts of healing are both acts of spiritual healing and physical. From Chinese Medical QiGong Therapy: Comprehensive Clinical Text:

Although the body's major internal energy centers are contained within the interacting network of the Three Dantians, the Three Dantians also connect to the body's major energy doors (located on the Governing and Conception Vessels), known as the Twelve Gates of the Chakras. These Chakra gates are superficial, on the surface of the skin, and are not as deep as the Chakra Cores and Three Dantians which are all connected to the Taiji Pole. The word Chakra is Sanskrit for "wheel." The Chakras look like small, colored disks, usually about the size of a silver dollar. Energetically the Chakra gates look like funnels or vortices of Qi.

Qigong doctors and sages have for centuries described their perceptions of these gates as resembling energetic wheels or vortexes within the subtle energy body. Each funnel extends and expands its energetic vortex out into the body's Wei Qi field. As energy travels up and down the Taiji Pole it creates an energetic pulse. This energetic pulse resonates out from the body through the Twelve Chakra Gates, and can be felt several feet from the body. The bottom Chakra is located at the perineum and only has one gate, as does the top Chakra located at the top of the head; the second, third, forth, fifth, and sixth Chakras have two gates each, one on the front of the body and the other on theback of the body. These Chakra Gates serve the following different energetic functions:

1. The top or Crown Chakra gate is responsible for absorbing Heavenly Qi and light into the body, as well as energizing the center core's Taiji Pole.

2. The front Chakra gates are responsible for the patient's feelings and emotional activity. They are related to the patient's Shen and the Heart Fire energy. They are connected to the Conception Vessel.

3. The back Chakra gates are responsible for the patient's willpower and determination. They are related to the patient's Zhi and the Kidney Water energy. They are connected to the Governing Vessel.

4. The center of the Chakras are actually deep inside the body's center core, located within the middle of the Taiji Pole.

5. The bottom or Base Chakra gate is responsible for absorbing Earthly Qi and heat into the body, as well as energizing the Taiji Pole. Generally, when treating a patient, the Qigong doctor extends energy into the patient's back Chakra gates to stabilize the emotions and to access control over the patient's will and determination. The doctor can, for example, connect with the Heart Chakra backgate, located on the patient's Shendao, GV-11, to access the motions stored within the tissues of the Heart. The front Chakra gates are used to remove Excess emotions from the patient's tissues of the Heart. The front Chakra gates are used to remove Excess emotions from teh patient's tissues. Although the treatment approach differs, the Three Dantians system and Twelve Chakra Gate system, mutually support each other, both in the location of the energy centers, and in their physical manifestations of energetic function.

The Yin and Yang polarity of the Chakra gates are opposite in men and women. The Twelve Chakra Gates serve as subtle energy distributors, that help absorb and distribute environmental Qi to the patient's organs, tissues, and major nerve plexus areas closest to each gate. Each Chakra gate is connected to its own potential of psychic perception, interfaces with body's nervous system, and is associated with different endocrine gland. Any energy extending from the Qigong doctor towards a patient's Chakra gate will affect the patient's physical body. As the patient begins to energetically open the Chakra gates, the external energetic Chakra wheel begin to spin in half-circle rotations, opening and closing with core's energetic pulse. The energetic action is similar to the centripetal (closing) and centrifugal (opening) action of the body's energetic channels.

Each opening of the a Chakra gate may result in spontaneous emotional release. Some of these releases can involve painful memories that have been dislodged from the energetic filter (or veil) that envelops the Chakra gates. This energetic filter prevents external emotional traumas from entering into the body's center core.

A Chakra gate can become stuck open, closed, or may also tilt out of alignment with the Taiji Pole, causing Qi Deviations that may result in a distorted or obstructed flow of energy. The obstruction may cause physical, as well as psychological, stress or trauma. The release of these emotional traumas can be overwhelming and painful if the patient has not prepared for, or does not understand the nature of, these transitional energetic malfunctions. These manifestations usually occur when the patient's system has been energized and the body is actively seeking to release and get rid of toxic emotions from certain areas. QiGong doctors should be aware of these strong emotional reactions to assist their patients in facing and working through their fears and pain as the Qi Deviations along the Taiji Pole are corrected. Sometimes these experiences unwind at a rapid rate, stimulating the patient's central and anterior nervous system; this can release a flood of mental and emotional images and sensations, that are sometimes accompanied by shaking, thrashing, and other unusual movements of the body.

For many the sexual act is a form of healing. These people are good in my eyes. This is why intimacy, connectedness, gentleness are all valuable in higher acts of sex. Through healing and perfection of the body and the soul, distortions are swept aside and then one can truly unite with the divine. Sometimes the easiest way to access the divine is to access it through someone else, and they through you, as it is an energetically favored process.

Warning, the following is a more "detailed" opinion on tantra.


Orgasm is often seen as something important in sex, but in reality it is not important at all for spiritual development. I liken orgasm to pleasure, pleasure is kinda like a rush you get when you go from a higher state of consciousness to a lower state. This is why true "sexy yoga" "sex magic" etc do not value the orgasm but rather the high frequency vibrations that come before it. The stronger the individual becomes the higher he can get without giving in to the "apple" the animal desire. Of course the weakest link in most sexual union is the male :p.

To orgasm is to fall, it's a little death. Death is merely a transition a transformation, but ask ourselves for what to where. Some changes are good some transformations are bad. My extreme opinion is based off of gnostic texts, orgasm is degeneration of consciousness and loss of spiritual and physical power. Is this the case with women orgasming? Different sources say different things. I don't know for sure. But from experience, I think abrupt local orgasm in women is something causing negative spiritual/physical affects while the full body built up orgasms generally are nothing bad, and I propose that "full body" orgasm have an entirely different nature than the normal orgasms, but what I find more important than technical aspects, is what goes on spiritually. Focusing on the white light from the crown chakra and feelings of love seems to be a very healing thing during the act and seems to delay orgasm indefinitely, so it only makes sense. Maybe there are different types of orgasms? Then is every sexual sensation an orgasm? It makes sense to think of things in the way I do, from my position, because I believe it's the way to higher spiritual awareness from my standing, maybe not so for others. "I love you, I do not need anything because I already have it right now, I am more than this world and this body, I'm one with you, forever, transcending time" Orgasm is not needed, and not orgasming is actually healthy for spiritual relationships, maybe not animal relationships, that is my opinion.

[Briony Haldane]

Haruth:

It has always been a bit of a mystery to me why there are so many aspects of the human condition which are held in such low esteem by organised religion. If God made Man in his image, surely every aspect of human expression then becomes a divine act?

I think that organized religion realized the threat inherent in condoning sex as part of a loving relationship due to the power the patriarchy would then be acceding to the feminine. As long as both men and women felt sex was something to be ashamed of, the patriarchy could continue to blame the feminine aspect for it and deny the power that would otherwise be accorded to it.

Irrespective of your sex, or your sexuality, embracing the divine experience that can be achieved in a loving, nurturing relationship(s), in which the deepest core of the sexual being that we are can be explored in safety and trust, can only serve to lift awareness to a higher place.

Hear, hear

[ShadowFox]

Wow the responses I'm getting are pretty good right now!

However why do you think that some people trying to find enlightenment are deliberately celibate? How is this honoring one's own sexuality?

A text made by a guru of my order states that one's own sexuality must be transcended, because sexuality is a duality and dualities are fractures of the single Oneness of all existence. I remember something within a gnostic text with Jesus saying something along the lines of "when the male and female are one" or something along those lines..

I wouldn't know if this is the path or simply a different way to pursue the path...

I know nothing. I feel as though the more I try to comprehend the more I am lost.

Also I remember reading a siddhic text saying that the true siddhi does not let the semen "flow". So this would be in agreement with the orgasm being "bad"? Or merely is the spill of the fluid bad, as this is a release of one's own energy?

Sex with a woman who I have no connection with, just to gratify myself always feels degrading right after the orgasm. I feel cheap.

[Briony Haldane]

Shadowfox:

why do you think that some people trying to find enlightenment are deliberately celibate? How is this honoring one's own sexuality?

I think many people on a spiritual path in a serious way find sex somewhat of a distraction. So if they are not in a relationship, they often don't seek one, knowing that they are wanting to devote themselves pretty much exclusively to their spiritual journey. This being the case, celibacy is practical as well as being true to one's sexuality, not wanting sex without the intimate and loving relationship.

Sexual love and intimacy reflects our longing to merge with the Divine. For some this means they don't partake and for others it means that their sexual life is sacred and a part of their worship.

[EyeCanBlackStars]

I think Brio writes it perfectly:

I think many people on a spiritual path in a serious way find sex somewhat of a distraction. So if they are not in a relationship, they often don't seek one, knowing that they are wanting to devote themselves pretty much exclusively to their spiritual journey. This being the case, celibacy is practical as well as being true to one's sexuality, not wanting sex without the intimate and loving relationship.

Sexual love and intimacy reflects our longing to merge with the Divine. For some this means they don't partake and for others it means that their sexual life is sacred and a part of their worship.

ShadowFox
Following the theme of yogis and that type of practice, I will write from that perspective:

I believe reincarnation is definitely something that exists, and there are probably paths to reach states. I write about this in the most general sense. Yogis talking about transcending "sex", are probably talking about how "sex" is the gate to higher states spheres, and in reincarnation a gifted person that had obtained power over higher spheres in past life no longer needed to use "sex", because he already transcended it/Yesod.

More info on Yesod here:yesod

Many teachers state that even though some very gifted yogis never needed "sex" to achieve their higher attainments, that they relied on work in the previous lifetimes to get to that point, and that there is no way to get to transcend to higher states without "sex" even if it be in a previous lifetime. Now this ties into the celibacy, most of people are just copying other people, without comprehension of why. People are different, people are in different states of being and in different rhythms and areas. What resonates well with me, is celibacy is not chastity. Celibacy is not having desire for sex, either because the sex is being completely transmuted into higher sexual/creative energies because person is awakened, sexuality is not being activated because of some intricacy in the movement of energies causing a stasis, or the person is repressing his sexual being, which can even be worse than the usual sexual degeneration.

Honoring sexuality is chastity. Chastity in my eyes has to do with pureness of the sexual force, sexuality not surrendered to this earthly existing, but loyal to higher angelic realms. White kidneys impregnated by white holy spirit of divine, versus kidneys red amber filled with earthly karma and lesser being. Kidneys are important in the process of knowing and short term memory, the personal subconscious. The kidneys tell you what you are where you are. The heart is the experience, the conscious body. There is interaction between the two and other minor features of being, as well. Blood and semen are impregnated with energies, let me ask you why throw pearls before swine? If you give a child a gift and he just throws it away, does that make you feel happy? A child that does not appreciate gifts of more refined nature, let him play in dirt. There are lots of different elements in play, and many themes, but what is most important? It depends on who the person is being and his environment on any plane of existence.

Also regarding semen retention stuff you are describing, even if people follow physical techniques and etc, there is still good chance of error in using them. And even when they do use the techniques true as possible, if they lack the mindset necessary, they will get nothing out of it, or may even suffer consequences from training. And I should really look at it from a spiritual perspective and observe it with my own through deep observation, because if I get knowledge and cannot comprehend it's place, then I am not going to get anything out of it. It is about science, attitude, spirituality, purpose and more leading to higher experience and freedom resulting from.

[Celtaur]

when the male and female are one

I think this could be referring to the unification of body, mind, spirit which can happen during the alchemy of love during sexual intercourse manifesting conception of another life. Thus the trinity becomes one through the creation of a new living being. I think conception is a powerful, magical experience which brings spirit into the physical world creating that link between the worlds on various levels.

Sex with a woman who I have no connection with, just to gratify myself always feels degrading right after the orgasm. I feel cheap.

I think this has a lot to do with focusing on taking what you want from another, rather than the intention being on giving. I think love is a form of giving and that can be expressed through sex. When we give, we are at a much higher vibration, giving love would be the highest, love can be expressed through pleasure. When we are taking, especially depending on the intention, we are at a different vibration, I would suspect rape would be the polar opposite of love as an extreme example in reference to sex.

It's all quite Kabbalah oriented actually. Sephir's course goes into this quite a bit.

[Jay]

sexuality is a "feel good" situation.

abstaining from things that "feel good" brings one enlightenment.

Be it intimacy, alcoholic beverages, red meat, tobacco, whatever.